Breaking the Vow of Perfection and of Always Striving but Never Arriving

Breaking The Vow of Perfection and Always Striving But Never ArrivingMany people still operate with an inner belief that if they try harder to be better — the best, perfect — then everything will be so much better in all areas of their lives. So they take a vow: “I have to be perfect and will be critical of myself until I am.”

How You Can Change Your Inner Critic Habit

Can You Change Your Inner Critic Habit?For the majority of people if they turned on a radio and the station was negative and critical, fearful, whining, or complaining they would turn it off. Most people would take control of the situation and choose something that would be more enjoyable and more productive. You may wish to take some time to tune in and really become aware of the background station that you are tuned into...

Why Not Give Yourself A Break About Trying To Be Perfect?

Why Not Give Yourself A Break About Trying To Be Perfect?In my daily work as a therapist/coach I've discovered there is one thing that we all have in common. We are all, everyone including me, so amazingly unkind and hard on ourselves. The truth is, I have never met anyone who is not super critical of themselves and who doesn't have unrealistic expectations when it comes to being a so-called "perfect" human being.

Perfectionism And Burn-out Are Close Friends

Perfectionism And Burn-out Are Close FriendsIt was Voltaire who said: “perfect is the enemy of the good” – and he should know. A strident critic of existential perfection, Voltaire spent much of his working life attacking the notion of a world imbued by flawless divinity.

Purplewashing: Denying or Repressing Uncomfortable Emotions

Purplewashing:  Repressing Or Denying Uncomfortable Emotions

Purplewashingis a term I have coined to describe the tendency people have to gloss over, repress, or deny uncomfortable emotions, usually by “spiritualizing” the situation or by “being nice” about it. I call it purplewashing because it is similar to...

Why You Need to Give Up The Need To Be Right

Why You Need to Give Up The Need To Be Right

Often, we just can’t forgive. Although we may want to completely let it go, the debate in our minds and the emotion tied to the event are too strong, especially when the offense has occurred repeatedly over a long period of time. Our insistence on the arguments that support our position become...